Good evening, fellow be-wheeled fashionistas!  I have a question for all of you: has anyone else wondered how to integrate all the cute little handbags popping up in stores with our somewhat, shall we say...unusual situation?  Well, I have an even more unusual solution to keep those purses safely in our laps, and maybe even help to carry shopping bags home from the mall!

But, I'll warn you, ladies...it's not for the faint of heart...

Once upon a time, I was given a set of "love cuffs" by a friend as a gag gift.  Naturally, as open-minded as I am, I was highly amused and not even a little bit offended, but I'm not exactly what some might call a, 'submissive,' kind of girl.  So, a perfectly nice pair of purple neoprene wrist restraints sat, gathering dust, until one day I finally figured out a more practical use for them.

I had been out earlier that night, dancing and having a few cocktails with some girlfriends, when I hit a bump and my *adorable* sequined clutch slid off my lap and popped open on the ground.  Lipstick, a compact, my ID, and cash all went flying.  Rather than looking savvy and independent with my chic little purse, I suddenly found myself scrabbling to find all my night-out necessities, with random helpful strangers bending to come to my rescue.  So not sexy.

As I got ready for bed that night, I found myself ruminating over my handbag faux pas, and wondering what, if anything, could be done to keep it from happening ever, ever again.  I examined the purse; there was a short chain handle that could be detached, so I began experimenting with places where I could hook it on my chair.  After a few unsuccessful, albeit innovative, attempts, I realized the chain was simply too short.  I considered the notion of buying a longer chain at the local hardware store and attaching it to the bar across the back, but the metal chain would eventually chip the paint and scuff it.  Not acceptable.  Luckily, my eyes slid over to my dresser and to where the love cuffs still sat in their box.  Perfect!

***

Step 1. Purchase (or repurpose *winkwink*) a pair of neoprene 'love cuffs' with adjustable Velcro fasteners.  If you're too timid to visit your local 'Adult Toy Store,' visit some places online, such as BetterSex.com, for more clandestine delivery.

Step 2. Wrap one end of a cuff around the back bar of your favourite chair and adjust according to the length you want.  (This is when these particular cuffs come in handy -- they're secure at almost any length thanks to the strong hook-and-loop closures.)  If you have a mini-backpack on your chair, as I do, be sure to wrap the cuff around the strap to keep it safe, too.

Step 3. If you find you need a little extra length, or you know you're going to want to carry other bags at the same time, add in a few additional carabiners.  (Available everywhere from cutesy accessories stores at the mall and sporting goods shops, to true camping and outdoors superstores.)  I got one to match the snazzy purple, but I've even seen them glittery, crusted with rhinestones, or emblazoned with your own name.  When you want to carry other bags, such as grocery sacks, just clip them into the carabiner

Step 4. Link the other cuff around your purse strap.

Step 5. Place your purse in your lap, make any final adjustments, and enjoy feeling safer and more secure while still rocking your sassy style!